Month: October 2018

October 14, 2018July 1, 2020 ddangler

A Dark Stranger

Letting Go & Holding On

He stood at the door all these years knocking.  I refused to let him in.
He was frightening, foreboding and at times even ugly.

It seemed he wanted all the attention and I had no time or tolerance for such a stranger.
I was busy building the life I thought I should be building of success, recognition, and reward.

But now, his knock had become relentless; louder, unending and distinct.  How can I refuse him any longer!  He has entered.

Though an orphan and at times very sad, he’s not who I thought he was.  All he ever wanted was to be heard amidst his tears, to be held during his fears, and to be comforted and accepted during his agony.

I have not only discovered a new friend but he has introduced me to other friends I didn’t know he had; wisdom, creativity, courage, even love.

Loneliness is a scary, dark stranger that many of us would prefer death rather then feel lonely.   Yet I discovered, once allowed in he (or she), shows us a beauty that only he can reveal.

-dd       January 2010

October 14, 2018July 10, 2020 ddangler

Joy Recovered

Letting Go & Holding On

You want to recover your joy?    Look closely and appreciatively at your inner struggles or challenges.

Behind each struggle, lays a deeper, more natural desire, wish or a hope for happiness. Yet we’re not able to understand it by viewing it with normal eyes.

Don’t rush to a moral solution for your struggle.
Try to understand and sit with its uncomfortable complexity and pain.  And grasp the courage to walk into what feels like darkness inside yourself.

There, in that dark place, you will begin to see glimmers of joy peaking out from behind the pain.

-dd             July 2018

October 14, 2018July 30, 2020 ddangler

To Forgive May Be Divine

Letting Go & Holding On

To forgive….feels like an almost impossible task…when we’ve been so hurt.

It seems if we forgive them then they get all the benefits of that forgiveness and we’re left sitting with all the broken pieces they left us with.  And yet, if we don’t forgive them, then we’re left with our own hurt and anger which turns inside ourselves ripping us apart.

And it’s true.  We are left holding all the shit they left us with, sometimes for years….which is what makes forgiveness so fucking hard to do

But then I wonder…if love comes from a divine place as they say, then maybe that’s where forgiveness comes from too?  And since forgiveness is so hard to achieve whereas we just know we love someone, maybe they both come from a divine place?

So I’m thinking that we don’t ever just “do” forgiveness.  Instead, maybe like love, the only thing we can do is want to forgive….and therein lies the beginning of what is possible.

Then maybe at that point, like love, once we really want to forgive that person, that’s when the finger of God moves in and helps us to actually forgive?

-dd       May 2018