I Don’t want to be Chased. I want to be Fucking Claimed.
This is precisely what I asked for, and I fucking know it.
The only thing I yearn for, more than to have my heart broken open, is to have my heart met. And for a few weeks, I felt seen and held in a way I have not in years. It reminded me that I want love.
So much of the cat and mouse—come here and go away—games that we see in dating are, in my opinion, attempts to navigate our need for reassurance, validation, comfort, and intimacy.
We are told that we should not put these needs on the opposite sex, that it makes us come off as needy and undesirable, when the truth is we all have these needs. To ignore them and suppress them makes us feel less human, and that makes us behave neurotically.
We belong to each other, but there is no belonging without safety. To feel safe, we must feel cared for, protected, and cherished. These are not feelings that can be chased. They can only be shared and claimed.
By Justice Bartlett