Now
Time is unforgiving. Follow your heart.
Category: Living & Dying
Unbecoming
The journey here on earth isn’t about becoming. It’s unbecoming. Peeling away everything that is not us. Unveiling ourselves of our cultural, racial, gender, even our personality biases. And finally seeing ourselves as…we…really…are. And then, being delightfully yourself.
This Virus
This virus yells….look at yourselves. Look at who you have become. Is that who you want to be?
Feel and smell your breathe through your mask. Taste yourself like others taste you. Feel the fire that you breathe. Does it nurture or burn down this earth?
See what you look like all day long on Zoom. This is how everyone sees you. How do you look to others? What do your eyes say? Do you see love in your eyes or sadness or anger or nothing? How does your mouth move as you talk? Do you see disgust or arrogance in your grin or moments of joy, empathy or warmth? See your whole face. Are you present or are you distracted and just feigning interest?
Those moments, on your face. Those moments, they change people. For good or bad.
Sit with yourself this virus screams. What does it feel like to be alone with you?
See who you are and ask, who are you? How are you living? How are you loving? Can you fly, crawl or swim? Can you imagine something better then your past?
How many resources are you using from this earth? How are you treating this earth? These animals; sentient beings? These life giving plants? These complicated people? Yourself?
Stop and reflect on who you are and what you do, human! Stop, now, right now.
The virus yells. Now is all you have! For death comes tomorrow.
A Song Named You
Longing is the language of the soul
We long for joy or happiness; or that we’re able to make a difference for others.
We long to touch or be touched by another human or for connection or to find our soul mate.
We long for friendship or to have just one trusted, loyal friend.
We long for peace between warring factions or for them to turn from violence.
We long for our children to be safe and happy or some long just to have a child of their own.
We long for safety for all creatures and for the innocent.
We long when we see the beauty of nature or we long when our lover kisses our lips.
We long for authenticity in our relationships and we long to have pure, ever present fun.
We long because we are human.
This longing keeps us alive. It’s a gift. It gives us hope for our future.
Yet, either we don’t know that we long or have gotten so used to ignoring it because we don’t want to be let down, again. We stop listening, afraid it’s just another illusion of being human and we exclaim, there is no such thing as magic. Sadly, this drys up our well of longings.
Longing is the very language of our soul. The soul is the writing tablet of the divine itself.
So, open your heart, one last time. Open your soul, and await. Await for your song to play. It may be faint at first. But it playing, already. The more you listen, the louder it becomes.
Listen. Dance. Sing. It’s a song that no one else has.
…the divine is writing a song named you and wants to share it with the world.
Life my Lover
The windows of loss wide open to the breeze
Uncertain of what loss to describe
I take my pick like snatching a leaf from inside a tornado
Loss, sadness and heartbreak is my partner
She is my lover giving me back lost pieces of myself
In my union with her I rest in her gentle arms, against her quivering chest of weeping sorrow
My mother has left the bounds of this earth
My father slowly slips away from his rotting, failed body
A friend blew his head off from life’s heavy hand
And my beloved sisters body betrayed her snatching her from our
desperate grasps
Letting a marriage turn to a friendship, rips away all I knew of certainty
And daddy’s little girl now proud with breast, fly’s away like a free kite in the wind
So I make love with loss and discover her lovely wetness
She brings imagination and creativity through her dark, mysterious eyes
Loving me like no lover could, she kisses my forehead with a caring assurance
She shows me what love is, while inside my orgasms shake my world with pleasure and with doubt
Forcing me to leave behind old parts of myself
And gather up of what remains
She, life gives all I need to live
-dd 2010
Like Father, Like Son
Holding his naked head in my hands I felt a different man.
His hands raised me as a child.
Now he was a child himself, broken and fragile.
The plain, at times distant man, who couldn’t speak the words “I love you,” was now a vulnerable old man, needing me, his son, to hold him and love him.
As I stroked his head, I saw his skin so close. It frightened me.
His hands had freckles just like mine. I recall as a child, drawing imaginary figures around those freckles with my fingers.
Now these hands, that once wiped the spit from my mouth, were in my care.
This man, whom I loved so deeply was a stranger to me at that moment.
That moment when I despised him for who he wasn’t.
But I knew he tried with all he had inside
What kind of man am I and why could he not lend his guide
when I was lost and afraid with no place to hide
All I needed was for him to say was, “Son, I’m sorry for your pain, I know it hurts and I wish I could make you feel better. I have no answers for you, but I have arms, a safe place where you can weep when its time to weep, and rejoice when its time to rejoice. Your tears are your strengths and your sensitivity is your manliness. I am here when you need me.”
This was all I needed but he was not able to do that.
But still. I held him there in my arms and wept.
His hands, so strong, still full of life.
Yet he too may have wept for what he never got from his father.
I may have caused him grief. And his grief came from what he knew he could not give me.
The more we love our children, the deeper we grieve.
We know one day we shall leave them or god forbid, they leave us.
The more we love, the more we grieve, knowing we have more to lose.
And so that day I loved this man, just for who he was.
I held his head in my hands as he fell asleep…
forever and forever he shall be my father and I his son.
dd- September 27, 2009
The Dark Night
I feel safest at night when I am without my reflection
At night I see me and not a mere hint of me
I see who I am and who I am not; this brings me peace
Though I love the warm sun streaming upon my face
I feel compelled to keep one eye open to see what lurks around me
In the day all I see is the reflection of me, in those whom I love
In this mere hint of me, lies madness
I’m addicted to these shadows of ourselves, to what we possess
Believing they are us
But the clock ticks and slowly, our souls haunt us
…….Until we can no longer bare it
But in the night
we come face to face with ourselves who we’ve avoided for so long
And then suddenly see the face of God
dd- November 2019
The Day of Our Birth
We have a drive inside of us to improve the person we were born as
Striving daily to be more, to be better, to be different then who we are
This drip continues day in and day out until the dam breaks and we realize then, that we’re not only perfectly acceptable the way we are
But we’re profoundly important to this life and the life of others simply by being that wonderful creature from the day of our birth
Tree of Life
This road is hard, the path is long
It takes a person to live it strong
No compromise, nothing left to kill
Only guts, and a heart that will most certainly spill
It’s a quest that goes deep, a quest that calls you by name
Your soul speaks now, to stop playing your game
So speak the truth, let it cut like a knife. And carve your name in the tree of life.
The Me I Didn’t Want to Be
I tried hard, I tried hard, I tried so hard not to be me
I thought if I could be what I thought I should be
Then I could be anything other than me
I ran from those who say they loved me
Their love would only show the me I didn’t want to be
They say they love the me that I didn’t want them to see
In the mirror, I would see only who I wanted to see
Then one day that other person was looking back at me
That other person who I did not want to be
His sadness and lonliness and oddity was too much for me not to see
He needed me to accept me, so he could be all he was meant to be
Now he is me and we are one, and together we can be all we have been destined to be