Here Today…
It is heartbreakingly beautiful to be alive
Category: Pain & Joy
Tragic Beauty
Life is tragic beauty
Its pain runs through our veins from birth
Its flames tear apart our illusions of hope
We’re left to die in its ashes
Still clinging to our falling tears of what could have been
But, suddenly when we have lost all hope
That very pain soothes our escape from ourselves
As we endure its tragedy, our hopelessness becomes our ally
And we see, then through its flames into our ashes
Only to discover our true. original self inside
… and we are re-birthed into a diamond of shining beauty to all those around us
Our Wound
If you want to know your own mysteries, why you do what you do, feel what you feel…. look inside and know your own wound
It could be shallow or it could be deep, but we each have one…
so we can’t afford to sleep
Don’t know if our wound is pathological or it’s our human condition, but alas, to know and love this wound is our only life mission
This yin and yang inside our being, can come and go without its reasons,
a friend one day but then the next, it rises up like a ghost of treason
So know its shape, know its aim, where its sojourns and what’s its name.
It’s scar will define the injury you carry..
but its name will describe the fear you find most scary
Names such as “what about me,” or “you’re going to leave” or “I’m not good enough” or “if you know me, you will not love me” or “no one is perfect enough to love me” or “I need the perfect person, so they don’t leave me.”
The name of my wound is “I’m not wanted” and it comes from days afar. Sometimes it is my strengths and other times, it’s as if it’s my most recent scar
On difficult days my wound is one of self blame and deep shame.
And inside my heart and my chest, a literal ache it can claim.
But on good days, when I accept and love how this wound may behave
I’m keenly sensitive, highly intuitive and extraordinary compassionate and wonderfully loving, creative, funny and brave.
Each day, “not wanted” and I, skirmish amidst our pain
It’s a rugged inner path but it slowly reveals my wisdom and gain
So “I’m not wanted” and I, we’re working to make
the deep and possible amends
For one day I hope we’ll be
both tender and loving friends
Beauty
Despite the loss and pain
The beauty that lays around us and inside of us is stunning
Despite the hurt and evil
the joy that lays before each of us is a gift of the universe
Gently pick it up. Place it in the palm of your hand. And just gaze at it.
Our Pain is our Destiny
It’s not the pain that breaks us
It’s the things we do to avoid it
We fear the pain, that it will break us
So, then break, break..let it break you
Let spirit break you open
Let yourself be forged in the crucible of your own agony
Transformed into the most perfect instrument of destiny
If you can embrace the fullness of your pain
Then you can embrace the fullness of your power
The Echo of the Soul
I saw the shine of a pearl beginning to form
A gathering of pieces from the winds of a storm
A sincere and rare beauty of the heart will deceive
She’ll touch you in places you didn’t know you’d need
So hear the sound of love in your hurt so well known
If you’ll just listen to your soul’s echo against the cold hard stone
The Perfect Driveway
Not tar but special colored blocks,
forming a lovely pattern
Very different than any other driveway in the neighborhood- a perfect driveway
Except for those dam tiny, ugly
weeds that grow up between those special colored blocks
They were not supposed to grow with the special sand that hardens so no weed
can root
But they do and I hate them spreading out in the cracks
They really bother me, spoiling the look of- a perfect driveway
On my knees I try to slowly pull each one out hoping to see its root surface between the crack
But they break off and I lose the root to the crack which really pisses me off
The ones I do get, I put in a pile, and let them rot in the sun beside the driveway
This way they will know how it feels to have no roots and to feel alone next to- my perfect driveway
In The Dark
God lives in our empty days
If we can close our eyes of knowledge and empty our hearts of expectations
we can see nothing less than the face of God
When we’re empty we soon discover we’re full
Darkness is our unconditional friend during our labor pains of grief
And where there is grief, there is death
And when we see death we see what we never knew
That death is the mother of beauty.
dd- December 2009
Absolutely Clear
Don’t surrender your loneliness
so quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender
My need for God so much clearer
Joyce
My beautiful sister
You knew me so well
And still you loved me
Two souls traveling a path together for a short time in our younger days
You seeing me, I seeing you
And we loved each other
A gift to my life
A gift to my soul
With your gentle love seeing me
You loved me perfectly
You rejoiced in my presence for some reason
And I bathed in your precious love
Your quietness, your gentleness and kindness
Told me that i was enough in just who I am
I miss you my precious sister
And rejoice that you are still a part of me