A Journey of Soul Discovery
Some days the loneliness is unbearable and
I curse all wisdom, insight or promises of destiny
Some days the sadness is unbearable and
I wish it wasn’t true
Some days the quietness is unbearable and
I can’t believe this is my life
Some days the pain is unbearable and
I ask myself why I exist
Some days the hurt is unbearable and
I realize I never had control…
….suddenly, unexpectedly and strangely
I find peace …
My sadness called and invited me in,
that I may know inner joy
My grief called and invited me in,
that I may know peace
My desperation called and invited me in,
that i may have wisdom
My loss called and invited me in,
that i may know how to love
Hurt is what taught me to pay attention to this moment.
Before the hurt, I was lost in a dull ache inside myself.
My senses dulled to what was real
I never felt what I touched, or smelt what I passed or tasted what was in my mouth
I missed life’s sensual temptations right before me
Then hurt came along
And the past was to painful to remember
The future to terrifying to contemplate
And I found a new world right in front of me
It was then I had an orgasm of my soul and wept with delight
I
This is the wintertime of my soul. Sadness surrounds me with its bitter frost. Never expecting the sun will ever return with her warmth. The snow glistens in its hard, crystallized barrenness- no birth shall arrive in such a moment of loneliness- cold, fearful, desperate emptiness.
– dd January 2010